The Golfer's Dictionary

A dictionary of popular golf terms from the perspective of an amateur golfer, if you have any suggestions then feel free to get in touch and I'll add them.

Entries

Gimme

A conceded putt, usually measured in inches i.e. 2 inches, 5 inches, 12 inches or 94 inches.

Golf Accessories

Gadgets which golfer's purchase to improve their game by reducing the bulk of their wallets thus reducing trouser friction to allow for a smoother hip movement during the swing.

Golf Buggy

The vehicle used to race other golfer's around the course in between shot. Also handy for reducing the physical demands of a round to a slight shuffling of the cushions on your favourite sofa.

Golf Club

There are two definitions for the term golf club:

  1. The basic implementation of device used to propel a small white ball towards a flag
  2. A social organisation built around a golf course and typically composed of a number of heels, a membership commitee and a long list of people waiting to get the shaft

Golf Glove

An unpleasant odor worn on the hand.

Golf Grippe

A mysterious ailment consisting of violent coughing and sneezing for a short period of time. Typically presents itself on the tee of a hole when other golfer's are about to tee off.

Golf Shoes

What more can be said, they are shoes with either metal or soft-rubber spikes on the bottom. Originally developed to reduce the reason behind dreadful tee shots due to feet slipping on the wet grass.

Golf Widow

The non-playing wife of an addicted golfer. For the record, judges has declared that although golf is "extreme mental cruelty" it is not grounds for divorce since "the unspeakable sufferings are experienced exclusively by the golfer and not the abandoned one".

Golfing

A pastime that allows people confined to an office, working all week, to lie and cheat outside.

Green

The area on a course where every golfer aims for, consists of finely cut grass, a hole with a flag in and is regularly watered due to the sobbing, blubbering and wimpering of golfer's.

Green Fees

The amount paid to a club in order to go round the course.

Golfer's should be aware that those who regularly play to par, pay approximately 50 pence for every shot but the average duffer pays approximately 15 pence per shot.

Grip

The opposite end of the club you are supposed to hit the ball with. Is well known for flaking, twisting, slipping and ripping, but easily replaced to cover up the rust.

Comments

Additional Entries

If anyone has any additional entries they would like adding to the dictionary then please let me know either by adding a comment below or by using the contact form. :-)

Written by Matt on 12th May

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